Only if there's room in the sleigh...

Ad i other ews, a letter broke o my keyboard. Ca you guess which oe?

If you guessed "N", then you guessed correctly. But if I push really hard, it still works. See, I'm not pushing your leg! I mean, "pulling"! Gosh, it's been a long day!

Ready for your daily laugh? My seven-year-old says that he's been farting a lot today, and it gives him a smell he doesn't like. What? I thought everyone could handle their own brand?

Yes, farts are flammable.

Seriously, if I could fart like that, I would forsake The Van and fly to work! And y'all know how I feel about The Van.

Okay, now to the artsy stuff. I did paint last night, but not much progress was made. So, I will share a photomanip I did. The back story is that my husband and his friends asked some sort of Santa/magic eight ball combo if a particular friend was gay. Answer: Only if there's room in the sleigh. The guys thought that was hilariously fitting, and so this pic was born!

Remember the Twinkies! And Other Pitiful Events...

Not gonna lie. It's not all Twinkies and Roses over here. Actually, it's not Twinkies at all, but that's a whole other rant. ;)

I had one of those moments yesterday where I questioned what I'm doing with my life. Some of you probably know what I'm talking about. I was like, "I'm an artist. Why am I not painting? Why am I not making a living with my art? What's the point in having this ability if I'm not going to do anything with it?"

This was followed by a questioning-my-parenting-skills moment. "What kind of mom am I? I spend all my time at work! Who's raising my kids?? The public school system!"

Just in case you wanted to know, the turn out to my pity party was poor. 

I'm still feeling frustrated today, but at least I realize that my life is of my own makings. I need to put more time and effort into my art. I sense a New Year's Resolution coming... "For this next year, I will live off my art and spend more time with my kids." Read: Homeless, with the children standing on the streets selling art prints in front of Walmart. lol

So, what did I paint this week? (Yes, I did actually paint.) Well, you know me. I love to start stuff, and I was in the holiday spirit. First, a quick Thanksgiving picture.

And second, an unfinished holiday sketch of a nutcracker and cute doll. Well, she will be cute at some point. And that little mass of colors at the top is supposedly my pallet, but honestly they look pretty random. I think I need to come up with a better pallet...

Imagination!

I was sketching at lunch the other day (which is how I attempt to exercise my drawing skills), and because I'm in the NaNoWriMo spirit, I decided to sketch some of my characters. That's always good artistic exercise--trying to capture something from your imagination, down to the expression. Or sometimes it's downright infuriating and causes forest fires.

Well, maybe not forest fires...

Anyway, I really liked how one character turned out. I liked it so well that I took it home and drew it again on the computer and painted it. Voila!

This be Lisa. She is the best friend of my main character, and a study-aholic. She's pretty, intelligent, driven, and probably gonna rule the world some day. You know, the kind of girl that everyone loves to hate. In fact,  not many people like her, but she doesn't care because she's all like, "Fo'get you, sucka! I'm gonna be Madame President and you gonna be asking if I want fries with that!" 

Don't get me wrong, she's got a good heart, but she's so busy studying and working toward her goals that she kind of neglects her best friend--and, well, only friend.

I've had plenty of time to develop her character. After all, this is a story I've had in my head since I was, like, 12! And I'm not telling you how old I am now! :P

I've always had stories in my head. I guess that's part of having an active imagination.

It wasn't until fairly recently that I found out the average person doesn't look out a car window at a corn field and imagine a beautiful girl running for her life. Or see a barn and envision a teen walking in only to find some evil force has been there first and taken the life of their loved one. Or gaze at a hill and pretend that a haunted house that could not be destroyed is buried underneath. 

And I guess the average person doesn't kill time at the BMV by wondering what their characters' flaws are or what their favorite color would be. When I can't sleep, I flesh out a scene of one of my stories. (Which is probably why I haven't gotten very far, I fall asleep quickly... lol) 

Well folks, that's enough about me! What about you? Any of you have a good story in your head? 

NANOWRIMO, baby!

Sorry for the absence, friends! My children have been kind enough to share the plague with me. Aren't they thoughtful little dears? By the end of the weekend I felt like this:

No, that's not me. I wish my stomach was still that flat! lol

And because I've been sick and unproductive (read: laying on the couch watching Netflix), I haven't painted. BUT it is Nanowrimo time! 

For those who don't know (you silly people), Nanowrimo is short for National Novel Writing Month. There is even a site with lots of great tips and forums: http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/dashboard

The goal of Nanowrimo is to write a novel in a month. That's right, a whole novel in a month. 50,000 words in 1 month! Now, don't get your panties in a wad. No one said good novel--just novel! Once you have your precious piece of literary perfection (or 50,000 words of rambling, whatever), you can edit edit edit! 

I think I've said before that I'm not a writer, but I do enjoy writing stories. I'll never be a great writer, and I'm okay with that. Since I have no painting to show for myself, I will share an excerpt from my Nano. WARNING: My books are always aimed at high schoolers. Not sure why, but I somehow never matured past 16. When I turn 50, this will be very creepy... lol

Timing is everything. That could be the motto of my life because as soon as I entered the kitchen in my ragamuffin state, I nearly fainted. It was like a hottie convention.

Gathered around my kitchen were five of the South Neal’s most popular seniors, and my brother was perched on the counter top casually as if this kind of scene on a Saturday morning was perfectly normal.

With one yank, I pulled my ear buds out and realized that Brett was giving some sort of history lecture. The other muscular teens were so riveted that they failed to notice my entrance.

And then my eye caught a dark shape in the floor.

Cross-legged with his back leaning against a cabinet sat Nerd Stalker. Only he seemed more interested in the shape of his hands than anything Brett had to say. In fact, the way he was intensely staring at them was kind of creepy—almost like he expected them to change color or something. And as if that wasn’t weird enough, he sniffed them.

Gross!

Suddenly his eyes caught mine, he folded his arms and looked away.

Then I realized the room had gone silent. All eyes were staring at me.

And my bunny slippers.

Brett raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“I just… came to... get some breakfast…” Fourteen eyes stared intensely at me. And then, because I was nervous, and I do stupid things when I’m nervous, I grabbed the thing that was closest to me and fled.

It was only when I was back upstairs that I realized I had taken the broom.

Alright kids, go write your own novel!!! :D

Bikers, Minivans, and Gangstas!

"Why hasn't she blogged?" you might be asking. It's because I was kidnapped by a band of musical-loving ninjas who wouldn't let me go until we'd completely reenacted Newsies (which is a totally underrated musical, just sayin'). 

Yeah, that's a round about way of saying I got busy. Sorry.

But fret not, I have been painting! I can't share everything because they're secrets, and... well... the internet is not exactly the best place to hide something. ;) But I can share a couple close ups.

What are these? Don't ask. I'll explain later. ;)

Update on my new (new to me, that is) minivan purchase, it's going great! I love the Toyota--driving it, riding in it, staring at it from inside my house, etc. lol Seriously, no person should be as excited about power windows as me!

I don't see many Toyota Sienna's on the road, so every time I do, I feel like I need to salute them or something like we have some sort of inside secret. You know like how the bikers have a two finger salute for each other: 

Everytime I see a Sienna, I want to do this! LOL!

This is a Blog Post in Which the Poster Could Not Come Up With a Creative Title

Here's another "new" painting. I know, shame on me. I should actually finish something. I consider myself spanked.

To be honest, I've been working on this one for a while. (By working, I mean painting, getting frustrated, quitting, painting again, etc.)

This is a special request for my younger brother, Mr-Think-Outside-of-the-Box. He sketched me a hilarious scene depicting himself and a buddy lounging in their economy class while the teacher does an obnoxious impression of all the adults in Charlie Brown.

I love the bright red and royal blue along with the simple, cartoony concept. Based on his sketch, here's what I have so far:

It's been "fun" to paint. You know, as in I stay up until midnight (because that's late for us old farts) and paint feverishly while cursing my brother and his crazy ideas, but admire what I've done the next day while sipping coffee. That kind of fun.

Enough blogging, time for me to get back to the classroom. ;)

Isn't She Lovely?

Bambi, look out! I'd like to see you try to take this thing out! That's right, I'm the new owner of this:

Just kidding! It's actually this:

Yeah, I'm a soccer mom now. It's not like I was ever driving a fancy car anyway. After Bambi tried to take out my old car, I decided it was time to get a new vehicle. I mean, I had my other car since I was 16 (and it had been wrecked at least 4 times). It was time to give it a rest. 

But every time I look at her, all I can think is this: